As a young woman lost I would always get counseled by others and told that prayer was the key to get the answer to everything I was going through. What they didn't teach me was how I should pray and what I should say. My prayers turned into preying and I didn't realize it until I was too far gone. In my mind I was releasing what was weighing on me, but what was really happening was that I was spewing ill will everywhere.
I look back now and realize how awful it was to be a person who was so hurt down on the inside that I had no regard for the well being of other people. Karma took on a whole new meaning for me. I prayed out of anger but never sought healing, I preyed for results. It doesn't matter if the people meant to hurt me intentional or unintentionally I still felt some type of way.
If you don't pay attention to the signs you will become so emotionally unstable that the enemy will take you to a place of hatred and bitterness. I explained as a child I grew up cold and lonely because I got to a point where I isolated myself because the enemy had isolated my mind. On top of everything I was feeling, I began praying to God for help but the enemy was preying on my heart.
The more he chiseled away at the warmth of love the colder I got. Though you may feel as if you are in this season as well, there is victory for you. God will use people to literally love you back to life and show you the natural side of the spiritual functionality.
What I didn't realize was that I was so deep in my hurt that I did not want to be healed. I wanted these people to be hurt because ultimately I was wounded and my natural instinct wanted them to suffer just as much as I did. Funny today how I can look back and see how the patterns of my actions wounded so many people. What is so paining to me is that as I reflect I can see the depth of my emotions and the feelings of no remorse that overshadowed me.
I was on a path to destruction praying prayers that were falling right back to the ground, meanwhile I'm thinking that I am just in communication with my Father. I was doing all that I knew to do, and God heard me but He didn't move. My loud tears were going to a silent God which created an angry me.
But was God really silent all that time? How can a God who is always speaking only silent when it comes to my situations? The answer to both questions is, he wasn't. He was speaking the whole time but yet I refused to listen to Him. He whispered to me to share my heart and to receive his love but I turned Him away. Instead of preying on others I should've been praying for the people that I too needed forgiveness from.
So easy to become victimized in a society where it becomes the norm to disguise the true reality of what's right and what's wrong and living in the shadow of other people afraid to stand on your own two feet because you've never experienced experienced success in the sanctity of yourself.
The worst feeling in the world is to have to accept your shortcomings as something that is always your fault. When your successes have a name tag on them it no longer categorizes as your success. My message to you today is simply to get yur life back.
We never realize how much our thoughts, our emotions, our dreams, our assets, our gifts, and our relationship with God fall prey to the enemy until we are on our knees praying for God to restore us and take us back to the place where we first met Him. Don't be so blinded by your false reality that you cannot see the plots and the schemes the enemy has set up for you.
God never said the weapon would not form, He only stated it would not prosper. What you do in the face of defeat is how you show God you are ready to move to the next assignment in the journey through life. There will be some good days and there will be some bad days but the God that is already down on the inside of you will sustain you and push you to the place where you need to go.
Don't let your brokenness dictate your destiny. Your were made specifically for this journey. Love yourself and stay true to who you are, your future in Christ depends on it.
..........Signed
+A Work in Progress
I look back now and realize how awful it was to be a person who was so hurt down on the inside that I had no regard for the well being of other people. Karma took on a whole new meaning for me. I prayed out of anger but never sought healing, I preyed for results. It doesn't matter if the people meant to hurt me intentional or unintentionally I still felt some type of way.
If you don't pay attention to the signs you will become so emotionally unstable that the enemy will take you to a place of hatred and bitterness. I explained as a child I grew up cold and lonely because I got to a point where I isolated myself because the enemy had isolated my mind. On top of everything I was feeling, I began praying to God for help but the enemy was preying on my heart.
The more he chiseled away at the warmth of love the colder I got. Though you may feel as if you are in this season as well, there is victory for you. God will use people to literally love you back to life and show you the natural side of the spiritual functionality.
What I didn't realize was that I was so deep in my hurt that I did not want to be healed. I wanted these people to be hurt because ultimately I was wounded and my natural instinct wanted them to suffer just as much as I did. Funny today how I can look back and see how the patterns of my actions wounded so many people. What is so paining to me is that as I reflect I can see the depth of my emotions and the feelings of no remorse that overshadowed me.
I was on a path to destruction praying prayers that were falling right back to the ground, meanwhile I'm thinking that I am just in communication with my Father. I was doing all that I knew to do, and God heard me but He didn't move. My loud tears were going to a silent God which created an angry me.
But was God really silent all that time? How can a God who is always speaking only silent when it comes to my situations? The answer to both questions is, he wasn't. He was speaking the whole time but yet I refused to listen to Him. He whispered to me to share my heart and to receive his love but I turned Him away. Instead of preying on others I should've been praying for the people that I too needed forgiveness from.
So easy to become victimized in a society where it becomes the norm to disguise the true reality of what's right and what's wrong and living in the shadow of other people afraid to stand on your own two feet because you've never experienced experienced success in the sanctity of yourself.
The worst feeling in the world is to have to accept your shortcomings as something that is always your fault. When your successes have a name tag on them it no longer categorizes as your success. My message to you today is simply to get yur life back.
We never realize how much our thoughts, our emotions, our dreams, our assets, our gifts, and our relationship with God fall prey to the enemy until we are on our knees praying for God to restore us and take us back to the place where we first met Him. Don't be so blinded by your false reality that you cannot see the plots and the schemes the enemy has set up for you.
God never said the weapon would not form, He only stated it would not prosper. What you do in the face of defeat is how you show God you are ready to move to the next assignment in the journey through life. There will be some good days and there will be some bad days but the God that is already down on the inside of you will sustain you and push you to the place where you need to go.
Don't let your brokenness dictate your destiny. Your were made specifically for this journey. Love yourself and stay true to who you are, your future in Christ depends on it.
..........Signed
+A Work in Progress